Department of redundancy redundancy department

That morning Richard woke up with the grace of an injured manatee. On land. The man in the bathroom mirror did not look familiar: Likeable, moderately attractive, with a weird smirk. One of those smug assholes that later turn out to be a decent friend to hang with, before they steal your girlfriend. Richard, in one of those epiphanies people usually claim to have while showering, realized that he was really happy back when he had nothing and that he felt short-changed now that he had most of what he wanted. Life was strange… His life at least. He blinked and half-burned bread was flying through the air. While the bakery product enjoyed its hang-time in super slow-motion, he contemplated if it would reach terminal velocity before it hit the ground. After all there was considerable aerodynamic drag involved. His breakfast hitting the dirty kitchen floor, in a completely non-awesome way, put a sudden stop to his daydreams about the physical properties of pastry under extreme conditions. “So it’s going to be one of those days”, he sighed knowingly to his toaster.